A Day at the Office

What if I decided to write one of these blogs while working at my desk in the Dean's Office entirely in stream of consciousness? Well, I guess I would write it like that, and it would probably take a couple hours, because this job is not mentally challenging in any way, shape or form.

A sound like it was from a Mario game just went off, and it so so happened at that moment someone who works here walked in, which made her entrance here a lot more entertaining. My boss, one of many bosses actually, warned me about how she was feeling with a card that had a recording of a woman complaining about every health problem ever. She then continued to show this to the woman who just walked in the door (with the soundtrack) and got immediately interrupted by her about something to do with a coworker (one who works here, from what I can tell) being both homicidal and suicidal, yet the two women just laughed it off! Oh! There goes the card again. It's pretty neat, really, since I don't know if there is a card that could conveniently convey my feelings about the job. Then, it turns out the homi-suicidal woman told my boss that she had a dream where she brought a gun to work. FanTASTIC! I love it when people laugh off folks threatening to off some coworkers. Oh, a story that began with : "Well, this was after he had gotten out of prison..."
"The hitman was hysterical?" Hysterical here means funny. Can't even believe this, it's great. I hope they keep it coming so I can get this done quickly. Another woman just walked in, one I've seen all over the place, but I don't know her name, so I ignore her for the most part. This could be the one my bosses were talking about. Yes, she stuck her finger in a light socket this morning!! This day is actually better. They are talking about the boss either "goin' missin'" or "needin' services." "I don't mind shootin' 'em!" The hitman, I assume. Or at least, I certainly hope so. I'd hate to think it was my boss, anyway. Another woman walked in, and from what I can tell, her name is Stormey. Awesome name, now she's talking about braiding her own hair in middle school, and how she's analyzed it for a long time. Something about the inside hair, hell if I know. My hair's only been long enough to braid once, and it was a glorious lion's mane of hair, really. Only been at this for maybe... twenty minutes. Not bad for twenty minutes' work. I just heard the word "perspiration." Immediately afterward, something about brushing your teeth, then a terrible laugh. Cupcakes, now, would be the subject. Well, that' s over.

"And he never goes out to eat where I want him to eat." "Do you like classic (garbled mess)?" Why, I don't know, Miss. I'm not really sure what (garbled mess) is, really. I like how this one woman just admitted to being an office leach to a guy who looked like an aged explorer. And this "explorer" is getting the card treatment now. Debating whether or not to keep going with this, or if it violates any sort of rights the workers have. I'm only really sure about one at the moment.

"You Can Fly Now, Too?"

Maybe being unable to fly is a good thing.

Sounds stupid, I know. "Who is this guy? Maybe everyone doesn't wanna fly!" you might be saying to yourself. Come on, now. You know you want to. It's the most common superpower people say they could have if they could have but one. So, we are going to delve a little deeper into the matter and discuss more than what a lot of people think about.

So, now you can fly. Wait! No, you can't just yet. First, you have to pick a method: mysteriously flung through the air like Superman or with big, majestic wings. Those are the most common conceptions of how it would be done. So, now you can fly. But it ain't as easy as that, not quite yet. You can fly, yes, but now you have to ask yourself where you want to go first. You decide somewhere close, put some effort into it, and lift off the ground, just to fall back onto it shortly afterward. So, even though you can fly, you can't fly. Sad, huh?

Practicing would take a long time, maybe weeks or months for decent flight, but determination and a few bruises finally got you up in the air. "Hot Damn," you say. "Where to go, where to go?" Well, for the sake of the point being made, let's say... Fiji. Not a bad choice, right? So, off to the great island it is. OH! I almost forgot: this will be a long trip. And the thing about flying is that it would have to take up some energy, some amount of fuel. Now, before this long flight, you have to decide where the "layovers" will be. You just can't fly straight there. It's too long a trip. You would need massive amounts of carbohydrates and Calories just to make it to the layover spots. Then, you drop down, put up with the publicity, find your way to another massive meal, and go along your way again. So now, you're at the coast of California. A long, tiring trip so far, but Fiji awaits!
Cool it for a second, because this is where things get difficult. You're about to leave the country, something you've never done before. Then, you see the entire Pacific ahead of you. You have to ensure you have enough food to last the journey, but you can't really carry a lot because it defeats the point of energy conservation by traveling lightly. A big meal in you, now you're ready to go burn it off over the Pacific Ocean to get to your dream island.

Along the way, over the ocean, you notice all the water around you. Everywhere you look, no land. "What if I get too tired?" "What if I pass out from being exhausted or too weak to finish the flight?" There are a lot of things you'd be thinking as you began to get so, so sleepy due to the hours-long flight. You are not on a course that runs by Hawaii, so no pit-stops there, not today. Almost out of fuel, you quickly begin to crash and you realize that you may not make it. Suddenly, however, you see it! A Fijian flag flying in a port-town. You made it! So close to landing in the vast Pacific, yet you made it! But you pass out upon landing.

Since you've never been outside the US before, you wake up in handcuffs. You did not get a passport before leaving, and are there illegally. Not only that, as it turns out, you've violated the International AirSpace of numerous nations, all of which thought you to be a threat. Also, you've violated Commercial AirSpace, and upon your deportation back here, are summoned to a court of law, being sued by multiple airlines for the violation.

So, would flying be such a good thing if you were the only one capable of it? Bad, no. But it seems it would be worth the trouble it takes to book a flight than to do it yourself sometimes.

-rcw

Intelligence in ?uestion

What if more than one species on Earth was considered "intelligent"? I'm not talking about alien visitors or anything like that. I'm asking what you think it would be like if, say, cheetahs or any other species had the capabilities of speech, communication, intelligence, and a sense of separate society.

Now, does that mean these cheetahs would be speaking English, perhaps with a British accent since Africa was rocked by England there for a bit? No, it does not mean that at all. Admittedly, as funny or amusing British cheetahs may sound in your head, if they were classifiably intelligent (1. Endowed with the faculty of understanding or reason; as, man is an intelligent being. [1913 Webster]) they would be much more of a mystery than that makes them sound. We wouldn't be able to understand each other, communication between the two species would be impossible for quite some time, unfortunately. They could have no real form of writing that we could easily perceive, since they lack opposable thumbs. Life would be very difficult on a planet with another species besides man that could reason and make themselves known to other members of their species.

It all comes down to a link that is rarely made in the wild. So rarely made, in fact, that it has only been done one time, with we humans:
Reasoning-> Communication-> Teamwork-> Common Goals-> Unique Society(ies)

The hardest part of the chain, not listed, is the incredible jump from non-intelligent to intelligent. In the space between the two lies an incredible amount of luck, of hardships, and of simplicity, among so many other things. So difficult, it seems impossible. But it is not!

Lastly, that brings up another topic: is it science? Was the leap humans made all those years ago scientific in nature? If you think so, then ponder this: science is but one thing and that is repeatable. So, if the magnificent jump was made through scientific means, that means it must occur again, it must be repeated.
And that is a cool thing to entertain yourself with.

-rcw