How Are Things Going? Swimmingly...

Maybe I'll write about going to the Tennessee Aquarium...

My next-to-last day in Chatt, we're cruising around because we had to start our day driving at six 'o clock in the morning, and not a damn thing opened until 10 a.m. so naturally, the brutal murder of time had to occur. Walmarts all look the same, and we went to Bojangle's for breakfast, which caught me off-guard. The building, from the outside looks innocent enough, but on the inside, it looks like a plantation house, which just reminded me of why I found the name "Bojangle's" awkward to begin with. Especially since it specializes in "Chicken 'n Biscuits."

So after breakfast, we bounced over to the Hamilton Place mall to reverse a terrible mistake on my behalf. But it wasn't open yet, or so we thought, so we rolled on into Barnes & Noble, which, for whatever reason, is open an hour before anything else in the mall. Once inside, the amount of old people just walking around astounded me. I asked Andy, "What the hell is up with all these old folks?" The response: "It is a temperature-controlled environment for them to walk in." So, like zombies, they wander around without reason, but we had to move along to JCPenny's. Once inside, I tossed around the notion of a $90.00 candle holder and that's when someone opened the store. Now, that door was the only one open to the store so people clawed at the door from the other entrances (once again, looking like zombies, if anyone's ever seen "Dawn of the Dead"). So, with my business aside, we left Penny's, I got some new shoes, and BAM!, outta the mall.

Now, we are finally on the way to the Aquarium to go about our business (going to the aquarium). The two buildings were a little daunting at first, but we had to go to a third to buy our tickets, and then we decided to hit up the bigger one of the two. Walking for just a second in the rain, we at last hit the actual aquarium, where our watery journey began...

-rcw

Now I'm in Chatt, There's a Lot of Hills

What if I told this as a narrative... Well, I think it would look a little something like this:

Walking down the hallway to get onto the elevator to leave this little chunk of hell affectionately called "Richardson Towers South", I hear my bag shuffle by my side, with the faint clang-a-langs of bottles inside it. On the elevator, going down, walking down the hall, getting some funny looks from folks who ain't left yet for break. I see Andy's dad, waiting to pick us up (a tad sophomoric, I'll admit) and he is a lot less frightening than I had imagined him to be, but I wasn't exactly upset. His sister tagged along, which I didn't mind, since I wouldn't have had an awkward introduction in their own home. Now, bags packed, a drive roughly five hours long ahead of me.

Learned a lot of cool stuff on the drive, couldn't sleep. The things I learned were important enough for me to find interesting, but not big enough for me to recall specifically for this little thing here. I listened to the GZA album, Pro Tools since I had just gotten it. I love the GZA, love the Pro Tools, not a bad album. It reminds me of why I love the Wu-Tang Clan and its members. A lot of useless things being mentioned, but that's what the drive there felt like, really. Random knowledge getting spread throughout the five-hour trip, made more awkward by the time change (gained an hour). The trip got a little more interesting when we got on the other side of Monteagle, where the hills began and there was plenty of scenery to oogle. Then, finally, Chatt itself appeared, in all of its ghetto-esque glory. The poverty-stricken entrance to the city was less than welcoming, yet there was a school named Howard High, whose mascot is the Hustlin' Tiger.

Why can't we be the the Hustlin' Tigers, Memphis? Why?

-rcw

Spring Break is Approachin'

What if for Spring Break, I go to Chattanooga? Sounds boring, right? Of course it does, but it can not be as bad as I think it will be (as the other option is nothing spectacular, it is the removal of my wisdom teeth), yet I can't help but wonder: what is there to do there?

The answer: quite a bit, according to my friend that I'm going with, even though he is hardly a reputable source. There's the aquarium, of course. That should take up plenty of time one day due to my love of oceanic life and aquariums in general. Then there's his old high school we are supposed to go to. Lookout Valley Mid-High, apparently. At least his dad is a teacher there, so it might make the day more interesting for me, or I hope so (but really, how much better can school be made?). I am staying at Andy’s house over the break, so I hope there is plenty of room there and that his parents are cool enough not to care too much about me kicking it there for a bit, though if they are as laid-back as he is, they won’t. At all.

“Why Chattanooga?” Well, the alternative, as mentioned above, is surgery. Maybe multiple surgeries, and that is something I simply just do NOT want. Who the hell wants a tonsillectomy and a root canal for Spring Break? Not me, not me! So, the decision was made to go to Chatt!

Well, that is… 252 words. Fantastic, I’m out of things to say. So now, filler!
Where did George Washington keep his armies? In his sleevies!
What do you call a midget mindreader who just broke out of prison? A small medium at large! Oh!
Bronze and silver are sitting at a bar, gold walks in. Bronze yells A u!

Filler, out!

-rcw